I Think I Metaphor Once Before

22 Jun

Language teachers love words. Linguists love word parts.  Etymologist love word origins, and Teachers of English as a Second Language, just love it all. Word definitions, metaphors, similes, and idioms, are just plain fun.  For those who love language, and the details of which it’s comprised, will feast like a kid in a candy store on the on the following:

  • i never metaphor i didn’t like, by Dr. M. Grothe

In this smart and entertaining  mini-hardback, you’ll find what the author calls a “Comprehensive compilation of history’s greatest analogies, metaphors, and similes.” Now, with a title and description like that, how can one not clamor to the nearest bookstore to buy this? It’s a word feast.  It’s pure  textual non-fiction sugar, and you’ll quickly feel like that kid in the candy store.  I promise.

Dr. Grothe organizes this entertaining little gem into 15 very aptly named chapters. You’ll find titles such as: Humor is the Shock Absorber of Life, A Relationship is Like a Shark,  Reserved Seats at a Banquet of Consequences, and Life is the Art of Drawing Without an Eraser.  Each chapter begs to be savored, in small bites, similarly to great caviar.  Here are a few tidbits to enjoy:

  1. The poet of junk food and pop culture. Sheila Johnston, on Steven Spielberg
  2. A louse in the locks of literature. Alfred, Lord Tennyson, on critic Churton Collins
  3. Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King, Jr.
  4. Fame is a pearl many dive for and only a few bring up. Louisa May Alcott
  5. A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. George Rosenbaum
  6. Unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life. Bern Williams
  7. Freedom is the oxygen of the soul. Moshe Dayan
  8. Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. Charlie Brown

Now, as much as I really enjoyed this title, I’d be remiss not to mention the fact  it’s a tad blue. Although cleverly delightful, this book does include some double entendre, adult wit, and occasional (though far from gratuitous) colorful language. My suggestion would be to save this title for readers of upper high school age and older. I offer this caveat because I’m an educator dedicated to serving children and families.

So, now that you know, go forth and enjoy.  In the words of Noel Coward, “Wit is like caviar—it should be served in small portions, and not spread about like marmalade.”  I hope you savor this little treasure, one tiny nibble at a time…or even heaped upon a big slab of toast with your favorite spoon.  Either way, you’re in for a treat.

I wish you the best in excellence and instruction.


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